#292: Stuff I Miss

When I was doing my “Innovations I love” list, it did occur to me that in spite of my attachment to some new technologies, I am actually rather fond of some of their non-digital, low tech precursors.  For example:

Sharing pictures in a photograph album is an altogether cosier experience than directing someone to pictures in Picasa, Flickr, or even Facebook. (Perhaps I will feel differently if we ever become an iPad family.)

I miss letters and notes on nice stationery.  No one will ever be able to tie up emails and text messages with a ribbon and save them in a chocolate box.

Long play stereo records sounded amazing and looked great.  We owned this album and may have bought simply because of the ultra cool cover.  (What would all those graphic artists be doing today, I wonder?    Probably working for the video game industry.)

I loved this cover, but was disappointed to learn that she is covered with shaving cream.

I can’t believe that I’ve only come up with three things.  What else should I be pining for?

Maybe I’m more adaptable than I imagine.  Just as well since growing older seems be all about adapting in one way or the other.

#301: Best Advice for Retirees

I have two excellent bits of advice for new retirees.

First, get a back yard bird feeder.  There is a very good chance you’ll be spending more time outside now that you are retired, so you might as well make it as much fun as possible.  Position the feeder so that you can see it from a window, and you are guaranteed year-round entertainment.

Even my husband who is more bird-ignorer than bird-watcher finds the feeder interesting.  And who wouldn't?  This spring, we cleaned and re-hung it, and our yard was immediately filled with drama.  Gangs of grackles and starlings lost no time asserting Mafia-like control.  They cleaned us out of expensive mixed seed and then swarmed the peanut wreath that was intended to attract blue jays.

Peanuts?  Did you say peanuts?  Soon every squirrel within a three block radius was swinging from the wreath.  It was starlings versus squirrels until the peanuts vanished and it was time for an intervention!  We substituted nyger seed for nuts, added a squirrel baffle, and finessed the feeder so that heavier birds were out of luck.  Now we can sit on the deck in the sunshine, sip a drink, and watch well behaved finches, chickadees and cardinals as they flit from tree to tree before swooping down for a snack.

What we didn’t anticipate, however, was the action under the feeder.  The scavenger squirrels are on the ground now, and they have brought their stripey chipmunk cousins with them. I’m sure baby rabbits are not interested in fallen seeds, but perhaps they hope that with all the scrabbling about we won’t notice them eating the coneflower buds.  On a particularly busy evening, the groundhog will wander by.  It all looks like something out of a Disney movie.

But wait...

In a dark corner of a dark garage, another creature—black and sleek—has ignored the animal antics in the sunny garden.  No trifling crumbs dropped from on high for this bandit. He is  seeking the mother lode.  Why scrounge for leftovers when you can walk into the pantry and help yourself?

And here is my second piece of advice:  do not leave the bag of birdseed in an open bucket where any old entrepreneurial rodent can wander in and help himself.  Store the seed in a metal bin with a lid.   I need to do that myself.  And I will  -- just as soon as I am convinced that it is once again safe to enter the garage.

#300: Sad News

Whenever I see an email with the subject line "sad news", I steel myself for the worst. Invariably someone has died and often it is someone I have known quite well.  But at least I have been alerted to the contents and can read the message when I feel up to it.

It makes me wish the retirement home had a way of alerting visitors, in a general way,  to recent deaths.  Perhaps a notice on the door (Sad News for Nancy) would prepare us before we read the specifics posted on a notice board:  We are saddened by the loss of of our friend xxxxxxxxx

Yesterday I came suddenly upon two such announcements.  Two in one day, and I knew both men.  The first was my kids' pediatrician, a sweet man who looked after both my girls when they were toddlers.  In the retirement home, I had been taking him murder mysteries and when we first visited, I filled him in on our shared history and told him how important he was to our family. 

The second fellow was married to one of my retirement home readers and lived in a room nearby.  He had not been well for some time, so his death was not unexpected and was in many respects a blessing for him and his family. Nevertheless I feel very sad for his wife, a lovely intelligent woman whom I have gotten to know through my volunteering.  I had a little visit with her yesterday, and she was philosopical about her loss.  She gave a what-can-you-expect-shrug and pointed out that on their floor "someone dies every day".

I wonder if staff ever become accustomed to these deaths.  I suppose they must.  I am reminded of the friend who gave my 4-year old a goldfish and bowl as a birthday present.  When I protested that it would only die, she nodded sagely and told me that it was never too early to learn about loss.

Or too old, it would seem.  Yesterday's experience reminds me that my education will be continuing even though I am only the volunteer librarian.  Just as well that I am prepared...   
  

                  

#299: What Did You Say?

This birthday card from Bruce's friend Marshall really made us laugh.

Bruce and I have had similar exchanges where variations on the same sounds (email, pail, sail)  caused all sorts of  confusion.

As a result, in the Ryan household there are some new conversational rules in play: 

• don't talk while running water
• don't talk while facing the other direction
• don't assume that you will be heard from upstairs when your listener is in the kitchen
• don't get annoyed if you have to explain or repeat something

And as the card points out in its interior message:  things always go better if you surround yourself with friends who really understand you.

#298: Plenty of Cake (But No Candles)

We are not the sort of family to make a big deal over birthdays.  We don't totally ignore them, but we are less Birthday Bash and more "eat-out-and-come-home-for-dessert-and-open-your-presents". (And one of the presents is pretty much guaranteed to be a shirt.)

So the Week-That-Bruce-Turned-70 was uncharacteristically celebratory.  Last weekend, while Toni was here, we had a family birthday dinner followed by a family birthday brunch followed by presents that were a cut above the usual: a fancy thermostat that learns your habits and reinforces you for good environmental choices, and at the other end of the technology spectrum, a sundial.  There was also a shirt cunningly hidden among 70 individual (and unique) bottles of beer, each labelled with an individual and unique message to the effect that Bruce deserves a bottle of beer because ......he does all the ironing.....he patiently listens to his kids' woes....he makes us laugh.....etc, etc 67 more times. The beer was Toni's inspired idea and we had fun pulling it off -- hiding and labelling and packing all those clinking bottles!

A week ago our friend John (in New Zealand) emailed with birthday wishes and advice. He admonished us to have a party with cake and candles because 70 is worth celebrating, and so is every subsequent birthday. He says he has a party every year, now.

He is right.  There is only have one opportunity to rejoice in 70 years, well-lived.  Every year is a gift, and the older you are, the more you realize it. 

And the candles?  The family dinner did have a cake with candles -- wax letters spelling "Happy Birthday" that puddled into the cake almost before we got it to the table.  Not a good look -- but at least we have whole year to consider some other cake-top concepts before the next big birthday party.

#297: Rest in Peace

How are you sleeping lately?  Are you getting 7 or 8 hours of shut-eye? 

 If so, you on your way to a healthy old age.  This is one of the implications in a recent American survey of 100 healthy 100 year olds and a comparison group of boomers. 

Investigators found that in many respects, healthy boomers and centenarians share some of the same good habits-- exercising regularly and keeping socially active. But the younger participants were not sleeping as well.  Only 38 percent managed eight or more hours or more of sleep per night compared to 71 percent of the elderly. 

I assume that the boomers surveyed are probably working – getting up early and going to bed late so that they can fit in all that socializing and exercise.  No wonder they are falling short in the sleep department.

I remember those days.  While working, I was often sleep deprived.  But contemplating these statistics about healthy aging, I realize that retirement has been very good for my sleep habits. I am still a bit of a night owl (I am often a midnight blogger), but I now fall asleep without anxiously reviewing the next days’ tasks, I often sleep through the night, and if I do wake at 4:30 I don’t toss and turn until morning.

And if perchance I don’t sleep well, everyone knows that one of the perks of retirement is permission to nap.  I have yet to exercise this option, but I sleep easier knowing that it is there.

#296: Car Free Retiree?

One of our vehicles is otherwise occupied this week, so I thought what a good opportunity to practice being a one-car couple!

And the one-car-thing hasn't been a huge challenge, so far. Minor negotiations have sorted out potential problems.

Me:  I'm going to need the car this afternoon.

He:  Fine.  I'll have it home on time.

He:  I'll need the car for Tai Chi tonight.

Me:  OK.  I'll have it back by 5:30.

So I've had to come up with some imaginary conversations:

Me:  I'm having lunch in Cambridge this afternoon.
He:  What?  I have a meeting at the Y at 1:30.  That's too far to walk.

He:  So you know that I have the car in Toronto all day tomorrow...
Me: No!  I'm volunteering at the retirement home all afternoon and I have books to carry. I wish the bus were more convenient.  We need two cars!

There we are:  a balanced look at the problem.