A friend of mine will
soon be dealing with a couple of family health concerns that could very well be
simultaneous: her husband’s back surgery and the birth of a grandchild. Contemplating the impact of these
two events, she admitted, “I don’t know what I would do if I were still
working”.
There is no doubt that
one of the benefits of retirement is the freedom to support family members as
their lives present changes and challenges. Sometimes the kids
or grandkids need help, or a spouse is ill, but more often, it seems the
retiree is parenting their own elderly parent. I estimate that half the women my age are what
I term “good daughters”, but there are plenty of “good sons”, too, who (among
other things) make numerous visits, even out of town, to keep tabs on Mom or Dad.
My “good daughter”
days are over, but I have friends who are in the thick of it, and I am filled
with admiration for their selflessness.
They don’t think twice about what needs to be done—they just do it and
they hang in there as long as they need to.
I know they are not so
crass as to consider that they are setting a wonderful example for their own
children. But it is true, that while
supporting one's elderly parents is the proper, loving thing to do, it may
eventually also pay off. Because
someday—because they they love us and because we may not have screwed up too
badly as parents and grandparents -- we hope that our kids will be there for us.
They will have seen us in the role of good sons and daughters, so when
the time comes, they will know how it’s done.
But please, God, not
too soon.
And it's a chance to remember what a good daughter you were for your mother when she needed you.
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